Monthly Archives: September 2006

Remeber When Def Comedy Jam Used To Actually Be Funny?

Def Jam Forms Secret BET Music Group

Raping Def Jam Till He’s The 100 Million Man

Twice within the last few months I’ve been watching Rap City and seen a few videos that were clearly out of place:

Troy Ave. “Rep It With My Heart/BK, BK” (2006) (video)
Kinfolk “In The South” (2006) (video)

BET is not exactly a friend to independent artists trying to get their videos played, yet here they were, completely unknown names with no radio play and videos attributed only to “Voicez Music Group”.

Now, this obvious aroused my suspicions: How the hell can these videos get on regular rotation in the daytime? Did somebody show up at the Basement with a piñata full of coke?

Sidenote:
Do you know how many videos there are on Rap City?

Seven.

Yep. Only 7 videos get played on the only nationwide all-rap show left on TV. Think about all your favorite rappers who are bricking. I never seen their video…Why didn’t it get played?

Anyway, I do a bit of research on these artists, only to find out that they are both supposedly now signed to Def Jam. In fact, Def Jam has signed a label deal with the “Voicez Music Group“. Even if they do have a deal, this doesn’t really answer the question of why these artists are on BET. They’re not on Def Jam’s release schedule, they aren’t even mentioned on Def Jam’s website! Didn’t Def Jam just drop a Method Man album without even giving him a video?

Anyway, after some more “research” (yes, google), I come to find out that Voicez Music Group was started by former boxing promoter Butch Lewis, who also happens to have produced LL Cool J’s shitty big screen debut. So, it’s not like he’s exactly proven himself in the entertainment business as of late. And these artists aren’t the worst (I like Troy ave okay, but Kinfolk are some really bizarre pseudo-thug snap rappers from South Carolina) but they don’t warrant precious airplay on BET.

Then it turns out that Butch Lewis’ daughter, Sita Lewis, the new Senior VP of Voicez Music Group, also happens to be the senior producer for BET. She used to be the one who recruited groups to perform on fucking Teen Summit! In fact, Butch has executive produced numerous shows for BET himself. Obviously, not a coincidence.

Way to speed up the rate of consolidation! Indie artists take note: All you need to do to get video play is sign to BET Entertainment.

If I were Lyor, I’d one-up Def Jam: why not just give Philippe Dauman his own label? Just order up a couple icey Viacom chains from Jacob. Then not only could you get free airplay on BET, VH1, MTV and Nickelodeon (yep!), but he could probably work something out where Lupe Fiasco could be the soundtrack to the 10 o’clock news on all CBS affiliates. You could get Plies his own wacky teen comedy on Paramount Pictures!

Just something to think about.

Back To You, Billy

To apologize for my absence, I’ve assembled an elite triumvirate of albums you don’t particularly need:

Showbiz & A.G. feat. Dres “Bounce Ta This”

from Runaway Slave (Polygram, 1992)
[here!]

Yola Da Great “You Ain’t”

from Really Really In The Streets (mixtape, 2006)
[here!]

415 “Snitches & Bitches”

from 41Fivin (Priority, 1990)
[here!]

The Only New York Rapper Who Matters

These other MCs are just killing time.

Uncle Murda “Mind Full of Demons” (Produced by Green Lantern) (2006)

Okay, okay, so granted, Uncle Murda (why don’t you call yourself “Murder” anymore? That “er” was G!) isn’t the most traditionally “lyrical” of New York rappers, but I’ll be damned if he isn’t the only one worth listening to. The song above, for instance, is about the spirit of the first man Murda killed coming back and hauting him. While Murda tells the dead man he would do it again and feels no guilt, the only way he can get rid of the demon is to tell him he’s going to find his kids (who Murda has yet to murder yet, for some strange reason) and kill them. This is some ol’ Geto Boys shit!

In this age when all the good New York rappers are too old and all the young ones are just boring-ass losers with zero personality, Uncle Murda is the only rapper worth a damn in the entire city. He has something that none of these new fucks have. It’s not street credibility, because other MCs have that. It’s not lyrical dexterity, because Murda loves to stumble all over the track like a drunken uncle. I’ll see if you can guess it from watching this (amazing!) video:

The Pope: Muslims Are All Evil

Last week Pope Benedict XVI was speaking to a German University when he decided to drop this little jewel:

“Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.”

After he said this, people were so pissed off that churches in the West Bank got ethered and a nun got popped in Somalia.

Pope Benny’s reaction was essentially, I’m sorry you feel that way, you evil bastards.

My question: is it a coincidence that he made these remarks in Germany? It’s as if he was saying, You did such a great job taking care of that other little…problem. If looking the other way was good enough for Pope Pious, it’s good enough for me. Go nuts!

I can’t help but be reminded how the first Crusade began:

On 27 November 1095, Pope Urban II called together a council of bishops and clergy in Clermont in France. There, amid a crowd of thousands who had come to hear his words, he urged all those present to take up arms under the banner of the Cross and launch a holy war to recover Jerusalem and the east from the ‘infidel’ Muslims.

The Best New Rapper You’re Not Listening To: Episode I


I’m the truth like the muthafuckin’ cigarette commercial, namtalk’nbout?

All Star “MF The Haters”

from Starlito’s Way mixtape (2006)

All-Star “Fucked Up”

from Starlito’s Way mixtape (2006)

All Star “Shinin’ Star”

from Starlito’s Way mixtape (2006)

Cash Money needs to put this guy on the fast track before they lose him, word to GDK. This kid is the future.

Don’t Say I Never Gave You Anything:
All Star’s Starlito’s Way mixtape (CLICK HERE)

The Bone Collector


Bone Thugs-N-Harmony “Just Vibe” (2006)
(download)

If this is the direction they’re going in, I have high expectations for their Full Surface/Interscope album. This is that feel good shit.

What better way to recapure your old sound than sampling a funk song that you (and another of Eazy’s protégés) already used a decade ago? Swizz is not an idiot (really doe).

Cameo “Why Have I Lost You?” (1980)

Above The Law “Ballin’” (1990)

Bone Thugs-N-Harmony “Blaze It” (1997)

Juvenile “Bounce Back” (2003)

They still need to make up with Bizzy though.